Fleeting Tsss

Dear FT,

I've been so consumed this week with a lot of things that I wasn't able to do my usual bloggities for you. So here's a couple of things I missed. It might be a long or short post, depending on what I remember.

Be prepared.

Last August 16 was a Monday. We weren't together. You were at home, I was in uni. It was a good day. I was able to attend my classes with an awesome amount of attention, but the only downside was that I wasn't able to see you. At that point, it wasn't really an issue so it was ok. I can't remember much. That's why I really should write after it happens. Argh.

I do remember something about that day though. A confession, for you. I again foolishly talked to Ag. We're not really close, we're more acquaintances than friends but I told him we were friends. I generally like people. It's not being kind, it's just how I am, I like people. With him, I really don't feel threatened nor do I feel any sort of annoyance. What I do feel for him is a sense of overwhelm-sation(That's not a word, I know). I feel overwhelmed by what he says. Perhaps he's looking for a friend, perhaps he has different intentions, it doesn't really matter to me because as far as I'm concerned, he's just another guy.

I've already placed him in an always invisible group in my FB chat anyway. Part of me was already going to do that anyway, part of me was still a bit apprehensive. The only reason why I even have an NZ friends list is because I was testing if I can send an FB message to a certain group. I really didn't want to group anyone, this is out of laziness.

In all honesty I hate the feeling of placing someone in an invisible group. It feels like I'm shutting someone out. On the other hand, maybe this is better for him, because he might have this silly notion that he'll be able to take advantage of me by getting closer. The only real thing that's bugging me about this whole thing is the amount of time you put in to make me transfer him into that list. Next time, just tell me straight out what you want me to do. Don't give me this "It's up to you" kind of response, unless you really feel that it should be up to me. Unless you're really neutral about the whole thing. To a certain extent you have a say and to a certain extent I will yield. I promise.

This blog has just turned into a one off rant. I promised you last night I would be honest. I will never mention him again. Just remember, he's just a guy.

Ok, I'm sorry.

Yours,

Tata