Day 1

Woah, jetlag much? I woke up after only 2 hours of sleep. The sound of the tricycles and some weird dance songs playing in the plaza woke me up. Today was a food day. I ate bibingka, suman, sinigang, okoy and maybe more. We went to the grocery as well. Shocking prices, I tell you. I bought new slippers as well! Woohoo. We also got our luggage back! Yey! I'm pretty tired. I've also started to text my friends so that we can meet up. Kinda excited. I hope I get to talk to you tomorrow when I go online. I miss you. I'm staying in a big, dark and lonely room but I've got lots of space for you on my bed. Tabi tayo?

Day 0 - Philippines

Flight day. Plane left at around 1:30pm NZT and was set to arrive in Brunei at around 11pm NZT. The food provided on the plane was surprisingly okay, but that didn't take away the pain my butt was feeling just sitting for around 9 hours. I tried texting you when we got to Brunei but Vodafone didn't have coverage so we had to buy stuff from Coffee Bean to get the key for their WiFi so we could all say that we were in Brunei already. After almost 3 hours playing Pusoy Dos, we finally got to board our plane home. We couldn't get over the hot and humid temperature once we got down. We headed over to the baggage claim area only to find out that they LEFT OUR BAGS IN BRUNEI. Maybe a third of us passengers were affected, Angelo and Pin included. We arrived at around 4:30am NZT but we got out of the airport at around 6:40am NZT. I found it difficult to breathe at first. Funny, that's what I was complaining about NZ when we first came here as well. We went to Jollibee and were pretty shocked by the prices. 1pc Burger Steak is now P55 and 2pc is now P75. Only about a P15 increase since the last time I got one. But the most shocking price was that the 2pc Chickenjoy, which used to be around P85, is now P130! WHAT. THE. HECK. ANG MAHAL. We got home at around 8am NZT and I slept at around 8:30am NZT.

Freely Talk

Talk to me. Communication is key. I've told you before, if you have something to say, say it to me. I'm not a mind reader. I'm not that good at reading people. If I've done something wrong, tell me. Please? I want to be a better boyfriend. I want to make you happy. I want US to be happy. I think I've said that plenty of times already. Don't keep things to yourself. Tell me, and we'll find a way to make things work.

I like you. I NEED YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Finding Trouble

Dear Tonio,

I wish I wrote more last month. Looking back, it seems that motivation has slowly left me ever since I showed it to you. Perhaps in the beginning I was more engaged in writing because I wanted to make you remember instead of my ideal reason of me being able to remember. But now, all I want is to remember and the words I wanted to see weren't written.

I guess I want reassurance and words in this blog would reassure me of us. The existence of us and that the longevity of our relationship wouldn't be measured. Do you think as our relationship grows older, we've changed? Sometimes I wish you would answer my questions. So I know that you actually read the posts. I know you read them, but I don't know when you read them and whether the feelings I have on these blog posts is still the same when you do get the time to do so. I'm not saying check this everyday, because to be honest I don't check everyday, but knowing that you know this and everything I type is potentially information you'd be getting, I'm consciously writing for you.

I don't even know why I did this, our relationship is not very complicated. I'm not sure if we're the couple who's going with the flow or we're the couple who's really serious about the whole relationship thing. I'm a bit concerned about our future, whatever it may be. I'm not expecting anything, but I don't want to start thinking about things.

Despite all of my buts and drama, I really want something simple. Loving you could be very simple. However, my nature seems to be causing all the complications we have. I mean look at me, I'm writing recklessly without knowing where this is going. I'm demanding and full of drama. I made a blog to pseudo document our relationship, I have this feeling it's bordering creepy.

I could just email you everything. I could make it easier for the both of us. You could reply in an email, but perhaps it's not the conversation I'm after. It's actually the things I couldn't tell you. The way I see what's happening to us while we try and grow as a couple.

For all I know, October could've been the best month of our relationship. I should write more. Maybe then this blog can be useful. Do you really feel my love?

Yours,
Tata

P.S. I love you.