Failure To

Keep.

Can I keep you? For how long, I don't know. For how much, I cannot say. All I know is I want to be with you, so I can find out how long and how much I'll want you for.

Our google calendar is a mess, we don't have entries after September. :( I wonder how long this blog will last? We're like choosing our technology flavour of the month. Haha, wanna make a tumblr? I love you.

We look so tired. Boo!

Your,

Tata

FT

Why hello there stranger,

How are you? Are you feeling much better adjusted in the land of suman and pancit? :{ Growing a mustache aye? Joke, I don't really know. Haven't seen you in ages and I've been really slacking off in my facebook stalking duties. Rawr.

I've missed you a lot. My laptop nightmare has driven me to an absolute wave of insanity. I cried talking to a call center agent who claims they're in Australia when obviously they are not. :| Frustration overload. As each grueling moments passes, I honestly wished you were here to save me.

On the other hand, your absence sort of let me see myself better. I'm stuck in a rut and I know it. When you were here, I used you as an excuse to put things off, but now that you're not here anymore, I've realized that those days are over. I still have time and I suppose I'm going to use that time to actually get my act together. I miss you, I really do, I don't want to, but I do. :( I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or not, but not talking to you somehow lessens the miserable feeling of missing you. It's so weird. Maybe not talking makes me forget to miss you, even for a while.

I wanted to break it off with you because I knew that missing you would just be terrible, and then when you left, I made it even worse by clinging on to you in a way I wasn't supposed to. I'm not going to do that anymore love. I don't want you to worry about me anymore. Just have fun there, don't get more credit for me. You'll be there for only a couple more weeks, it's best you spend it on the things that will make you happy there. I've topped up more this week than I can count and it's ridiculous. I thought minutes spent talking to you would actually help me feel better, but I was wrong. It only works if we both feel the same way. Now all I feel is animosity towards the situation. That's going to change because I'm really happy for you and I'm going to keep myself busy.

My grandparents are here! So that means more things to do and less missing you. I love you. I love you. I love you. :*

Despite being boyfriendless (semi), laptopless and jobless this Christmas season, self satisfaction has attacked me like they were fated to do so and this has given me inspiration (it's only a few hours old so give it some time to flourish). I'm going to be fine, you're going to be fine. I wish I could see you. I love you. Take care.

I'm still here when you come back anyway.

I hope you're happy,
Tata

P.S. I get over dramatic when I'm trying not to miss you.

FT

I'm still money less. My easy access account is hungry for money! I should know by the 15th if I can get half of my target money at least. :)) I'll try and improve my chances on the weekend. I'll work on it really hard. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Anyway in work news, I've submitted my crappy two paged resume. I really think I should have put a little bit more effort into it, but I'm putting it off till the weekend. What's bugging me though is the fact that the "Job Application" note on my phone has been there for ages and I've only been actively searching for one this week. (And then failing to press the apply button out of my feelings of inadequacy)

On a side note: I still haven't gone to get my phone fixed. :| This has to stop. Days of excessive procrastination will forever ruin my life and my phone.

Love, I think my life may not go anywhere. It's even possible that I'm going to be the next spokesperson for failure. Would you still love me, even after that?

Ok, i should get ready soon, because I'm going to Karyn's house at around 5 or 6. Boo. I miss you love. Catch you next year. ;)

FT

Hello December 3! It's 12 AM here. I was hoping to catch you pero I'm so sleepy, I'll sleep na. I really want to hear your voice. :(

In Karyn's words "I'm whipped."

I love you.

Familiar Treats

Dear love,

I'm the crazy girl who's still up doing nothing productive when I'm supposed to be doing something really important or maybe sleeping because we might be going to church really early and lack of sleep isn't very good and that might be a bad way to start my day.

That was the worst running sentence I've ever made. Without commas and all those jazzy punctuations too! Phew!

So love, it has been more than half a month since my last post. Talk about procrastination! Sheesh! Let me tell you something about October. It's a very hectic month. Everything is due on October, oh dameet! :}

If I can pull back some memories, October 1 was a Friday. I didn't pull that from my memory though, I got that from the calendar. Ok, ok, let me think October 1 was a Friday. Hmm... Oh, it was the week where I was sort of out of it. I didn't go to uni that day. I was really just sulking away at home. I didn't see you though, which meant I didn't see you for the following three days. :(

Saturday was the burial and then Sunday was just staying at home. When I came to uni on Monday, Andrea and I had this huge emotional session instead of going to our Marketing lecture. I remember I was pretty broke that day. :)) Broke and emotionally drained because of our talk. Hahahaha.

Anyway, Tuesday was our 2nd month. :"> We went to Mt. Eden. Haha, subway and more.

Moving on, the next few days were spent working on different projects? And staying at home to take care of Vincent. The first few weeks of October have been really hectic. Let's see, Thursday the 7th we went home together, you were a bit sick though. :(

Mondays are becoming boo days, I never get to see you on a Monday. :(

Tuesday, instead of going early to uni, I met up with you instead. Haha, you were rushing me the whole day! I was late for class. ARGH. :))

Now the next day, I was feeling so bad I had to stay home. Gosh love you made me sick. :O

Thursday, I had my last lecture with Koro, I was feeling really sick and then this was the day I didn't see you at all. Oh dear, bad vibes.

And then October 15, which was last Friday, we stayed in the city until 10:30. Haha, we were supposed to leave at 9:30 but we ended up leaving an hour later because you wanted to be with me for much longer. HAHAHAHA, come on, don't deny it.

I got distracted writing this by watching old Rico Yan videos. Haha, anyway I love you BABY!

:)

Mwah!

Yours,
Tata

P.S. I can't wait to see you love.